Kungfu Fighting

Things sure have changed since the Tibetan  Airbender temples and inhabitants were destroyed by the evil and rampaging Chinese Firebender empire. The child  Dalai Lama monk Aang has been reincarnated into the bodacious ass-kicking form of Korra and everyone who is anyone has moved into a steam-punkish mash-up of Hong Kong and New York.

Am I the only one who misses the good old days?

By this, I am talking about Prince Zuko, Princess Azula and their uncle, disgraced General Iroh. Back then, the antagonists had story arcs that were as interesting if not more than the protagonists. Now, we have a cutout two-dimensional villain whose back story is poorly crammed into the final episode.

The potential for a sympathetic antagonist was there from the start. Normal people have every right to be resentful of Benders and their seeming monopoly of government. The fact that the city council is composed entirely of Bender representatives hints at a non-democratic system. More could have been done to make the Equalists a group of democracy seeking reformists.

But what did the writers do?

Four episodes of Gladiators and then a war that resembles a toy ad.

Smite! In the name of love!

My favourite AD&D character is the Paladin.


Because the Paladin has a double-O licence to kill issued by the Almighty himself. No sin, no blame! Plus you get a free pass on collateral damage if your heart is pure.


Because if you’ve structured your deal right, every soul harvested by your sword is sent straight to your God’s welcoming arms.

Plus you get to sing psalms, win every theological/philosophical argument with your sword arm and smile joyously as you round up heathens for mass convert-or-die ceremonies.

And you get to say with complete truth and conviction that you’re smiting for love!

The unbearable whiteness of Australian TV

I hardly ever watch Australian made television but recently, a couple of series cropped up and I gave them a go: The Slap, Laid and Rake. They were good enough for me to take some heart and poke around what was being made, what was popular. As I trawled through various review sites, it began to dawn on me that by far the majority being broadcast were white: white cast, white plot-lines, white everything.

I also noticed that I wasn’t alone in noticing this. There’s a good recent (02/2012) article here about it. Given that the article has covered everything I want to say, I thought I’d be a little more proactive and list some possible TV series that I would like to see made.

Continue reading “The unbearable whiteness of Australian TV”

Why True Blood why?

Given the never ending waves of undead storming our screens, I am feeling more and more like I am on the Night’s Watch standing on the Wall wondering where the fuck they all come from.

Surely the last fan has had their brains scooped out and sent to the hell of soap extravagansa Revenge by now.

But no, true to form the latest season of True Blood has just lurched out of the grave again and like any rotting corpse much of it stinks, some parts are remarkably well preserved and the whole thing still somehow exerts a sickening fascination.

Take Reverend Newland and the werewolf funeral for example. Surprisingly funny and surprisingly gross respectively. How is it possible that the writers can still stand their material enough to produce something new?

I dont know but winter has come and I have nothing else to do but keep watching and hope there are more good bits.

Zombies versus Terminators FTW

Ever since that dude ate the face off the other dude in broad daylight on the street, I’ve been taking zombies more seriously. So, I watched the first episode of “The Walking Dead” just in case it had any new tips on preparing for a zombie attack.

It didn’t. Plus it took itself so seriously. You know: people crying and carrying on as if it was the end of the world instead of running around having the time of their life blasting, chainsawing, fire-bombing, etc every zombie they see into giblets.

So I thought that given the TV show is a comic adaptation, they should go down the mighty monster mashup road of Aliens versus Predator which first came to life as a Dark Horse miniseries and introduce Terminators!


Because Terminators are programmed to only do the fun stuff (and deliver great one-liners). Plus you don’t need to actually hire actors who can act – just big dudes. Also, you could have a scene where zombies bite through the flesh casing and break their teeth on the metal endo-skeleton.

I know, right?