Burnt out (part 2)


The last two months of travel has really shown me how easy it is to traipse around certain parts of the world in a bubble. It’s a safe, risk-free and comfortable bubble but it’s a bubble nonetheless.

The rules are simple:

  1. stay within the tourist enclaves
  2. eat in tourist restaurants that cost at least five times as much and serve the same food everywhere but are at least more likely to be safe
  3. dont talk to any locals who approach you because they are likely to be scamsters, salesmen or worse and in the unlikely event that they arent, see rule 4
  4. dont talk to other travelers because what’s the point you’re not going to see them ever again anyway
  5. if the destination is too far, difficult, inconvenient or dangerous – dont bother
  6. go to as many sights as you can find in your guide book but make sure you follow the above rules
  7. except for “no” and “please go away”, dont learn the local language, most locals you do speak to will have english anyway (see rule 1, 3 and 5)
  8. learn just enough of the culture to know how not to offend anyone
  9. oh yeah, and most importantly – if it sounds too good to be true (including spontaneous offers of hospitality), it is

Still, having written all that, I’m looking forward to Dubai and East Africa. Go figure.

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