the meaning of commitment


Four and a bit months with SG and we’re engaged.

That sentence is the easiest way of getting the message across. It’s not wholly correct from my point of view, seeing as i have issues with the idea of state/religion sanctified marriage and the legal definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman (in Australia) but there it is.

What I feel has actually happened is that I’ve met someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with and my level of certainty (and happiness) is such that I want to tell my friends and family about it. I cant actually see my level of emotional and intellectual commitment increasing from this. However, it isnt quite time to involve the state, its associated legal apparatus and to go down the financial merging path (although the latter is already starting to happen).

In many ways, a path that would suit me a lot better would be a celebration now (or pretty soon anyway) with friends and family and then a visit to the legal offices a year or two down the track by ourselves (and required witnesses) to register for legal and taxation purposes a change in our status.

The true marriage would be the celebration in front of family and friends, free from the intrusive presence of strangers in the form of state authorised “celebrants”. I feel that it is quite important to reclaim marriage for what it is, something that the state has no business in. In fact, I can think of nothing worse to be saying vows under the auspices and permission of some form of authority. Two free-willed adults standing up in front of their loved ones to speak their heart to each other is enough I think.

But political ideals aside, here’s the plan anyway: a year or two of travelling and then on our way back from to Australia for the first visit, a stop off in KL for any celebrations that need to happen for relatives there, a stop off in Brisbane for SG’s family and friends there (probably where the main event will take place) and then a smaller one in Melbourne for friends here.

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