I had 4 pots of beers last night at the Brunswick Green with my ex and her new partner and woke up with a hangover this morning. There used to be a time when I drank nearly that much every night (a rather ocker two or three stubbies after work) and was completely fine the next day. I didn’t even get the alcoholic relaxed buzz last night either and that seems particularly unfair this morning.
One of the main reasons for the lack of alcohol tolerance is that i’ve stopped drinking as often. SG doesn’t drink and while I find drinking by myself at home while cooking quite ok, it doesn’t feel right in company and so I have a six pack of VB gathering plaster dust for the last two months.
The other is that I seem to have fallen into a vicious cycle where the less beer I drink, the less pleasant beer tastes when I do drink. A glass or two of wine seems ok but I still get a hangover. Now this hangover isn’t bad – it’s more like a slight fatigue, a minor tightness behind my eyes and a dryish mouth but it is still unpleasant. Unpleasant enough that I’m beginning to accept that i’m entering a long phase of minimal social drinking.
On a different note, I felt both happy and a little sad watching my ex and her partner together last night. They are very much in love and it is quite obvious that they make a much better match than ever we did. Still, i felt a peculiar sense of loss watching them together. I’d seen them at Rainbow and also at her going away party, the White Party, last weekend but at the Brunswick Green which is such a familiar context for our old relationship, their new relationship had a dimension to it that was more real, that marked in a much more emotionally significant way the changes that have occurred. It is good though, this sadness and it doesnt come with any desire to go back to our relationship.
When I returned to SG later last night who was asleep in bed with a cold, her laptop still on to a half-done assignment, the sadness did not disappear immediately but lingered a while as I spoke to her about the evening. I was glad and reassured about that. SG is not a replacement. I am not building this new relationship on the past.