searching for responsibilities


riding in to work the other day after a particularly stressful week, it struck me that the only reason why i am still doing this is because i have a mortgage to feed and the only reason why i have a mortgage in the first place is because i wanted to make a home with my partner at that time.

the chain of cause and effect became quite clear:

now that i do not have a partner, i do not need a mortgage.

now that i do not need a mortgage, i do not need to earn as much.

now that i do not need to earn as much, i do not need to keep doing this rather stressy job.

now that i do not need to keep doing this job, i could do something that i really want to do instead.

at that point, my mind stuttered.

i do not really know what i really want to do instead.

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