last week while i was away at maldon, my ex got back into town. when she’d left, she’d left a fair amount of her stuff in storage at the house. over the last few days, she’s been picking up stuff and moving them to her new place. a room in the house that she was going to move into had become available earlier than expected – so that worked out well for her, which i am glad for.
things arent working too well between us though. there’s a gulf there that seems unbridgeable.
i came home the other day and parked my bike on the side of the house as i normally do and heard the sound of the television and the gas heater going. I’d given a key to her so she could come and go as she please for moving and i knew she was planning to come in during the early afternoon as she’s careful to call before she arrives but i still felt a keen and familiar sense of pleasure as i walked in to see her sitting on the cushions with the cat curled up next to her.
“you’re still here!” I said as I’d expected her to have left by the time i got back. But I was smiling and I’d thought that the pleasure in my voice and face would have been self-evident.
“i’m spending time with the cat,” she replied and made preparations to go as quickly as she could.
I asked her how she was. She said she was good. She asked me to help move some of her stuff. I did so. I asked her to stay for dinner. She refused.
And that was pretty much it. I cant see our conversations getting any deeper than that.
But then, I guess there’s not a lot left to say.