my practice has almost completely lapsed in the last couple of weeks.

taking stock of where i am now and where i was a month ago, especially immediately after the retreat, the difference is very noticeable.

events are now more likely to trigger emotions which in turn are more likely to affect my mind and which in turn are more likely to create more intense emotions. my actions in response to all of this have become more reactive and less likely to address the root causes of those emotions. both aversion and craving have become stronger. and old response patterns have re-emerged.

the best analogy is that life is now stickier. the passage of each day leaves a lot more residue that is difficult to shake off. This residue in turn makes it easier for the next lot to cling to.

I am not surprised that this has happened, just that is has happened so quickly. the thing now is to get back into meditation and slowly. Ten minutes each day to start with i think.