trust (1)

one of the topics that came up through therapy was that of trust.

my therapist was of the opinion that i did not trust many people. I said seeing as trust is such a subjective experience, i could neither accept or reject her statement.

she then asked me if i trusted her.

i thought about it for a minute or so.

Did i trust her professional ability? Not really. I did not have a lot of respect for freudian psychoanalysis from what i knew of it and from my experience through her.

Did I think that she had my best interests in mind? Yes but only within the limitations of her being paid to do so given that part of her objectives conscious or otherwise would surely be to seek return business from myself (and others).

Did I trust therapy itself? Only as far as myself being able to identify the objective of it – which had been to become a more integrated and contented person so as to preserve my relationship. Seeing as my relationship had ended catastrophically, part of the reason for continuing was no longer there. Plus, I’d found a lot more contentment and integration through meditation.

And so I told her, no i did not trust her.

I further reflected that I’d given it a good six months and while i had achieved quite a lot, I could not see myself getting much further with her. I ended my therapy the next session.

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