bicycle


let this be a warning to you all.

riding down sydney road this morning, i ran a red light on a small lane between glen lyon and victoria. there were like no cars going either way and i run redlights all the time when i’m on my bike anyway. i jaywalk too. i figure the two isnt all that different. it’s not like they can fine me or anything.

So secure was i in this happy world that when the cop stopped me, I didnt even know i’d done anything wrong. i was smiling warmly. my cheery relaxed helpful demeanor possibly in combination with my torn jeans, old singlet and dreadlocks, merely served to incense the police officer further.

me: “g’day. what can i .. ”
pissed off cop interrupting: “did you know you just ran a red light back there?”
me looking back: “uhm, did I? Oh, sorry.”
cop even more pissed off: “why did you do it?”
me: “i guess i didnt see it.”
cop: “no, why did you do it?”
me: “i really didnt see it.”
cop: “Can you take your helmet off?” Looks at its shabby smelly no outer plastic cladding shape with disgust. peers into my eyes suspiciously. “have you been drinking?”
me (outraged at this preposterous accusation): “it’s 8:30 in the morning. i havent been drinking. you can breath test me if you like.”
cop obviously having a big problem believing traffic-lights can fade into the background without the aid of alcohol and drugs or both: “so why did you run the light?”
me: “I donno. I guess I had a late night. It’s like early you know. I didnt see it.”
cop lectures me about driving while fatigued. other cop behind this cop almost rolls eyes.
cop after taking my licence, talks to other cop: “Do I get to take demerit points off?”
other cop calmly: “It’s under bicycle offences. You dont.”
But I do get a fine for *two hundred and ten dollars*.
pissed off cop finally calms down at that point: “Have a nice day.”
me finally getting a little annoyed: “Yeah, right. thanks”

*two hundred and ten dollars*!!

jeeze. at least i can pay it through the internet.

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