Ok, so maybe my shrink isnt the most poly supportive person and does have a mono-normative view of healthy psycho-sexual relationships.
But, I found these questions very challenging. Some, if not all, are leading questions of course. But I believe they are still worth considering, even if it is only so that if you ever see a shrink like mine, you dont fall into a huge tailspin. Obviously, my poly love prose poem has some of my own, if slightly unbalanced and negative, answers for my motivations and drivers.
I’ve posted these questions to a polyoz group and will be posting them to a larger US based poly group – polyfamilies. I dont expect there to be a lot of responses because from experience and observation, I’ve found very few poly people are inclined to look too much or analyse their motivations. This is fair enough because much of the time, questions such as these have an agenda.
By the way; “dont know” isnt an answer and neither is “that’s just the way I am and always have been” or “because I cant help it” or “I just have a large heart”. Other than that, as per usual shrink talk, there are no right or wrong answers.
why are you poly?
why is one person not enough?
why do you keep falling in love with new people?
what does love mean to you? What is love?
Why do you have to act on it?
why is it not possible to be completely fulfilled by one person?
Why cant you get fulfilment through friends, community, co-housing and family, why does sex have to be a part of it? Have you many friends that you are not sexually attracted to or have not had sex with?
What do you mean by complete fulfilment?
Isnt commitment and fulfilment to do with compromise and sacrifice? Why do you put yourself through jealousy and other very strong and difficult emotions for this?
Is it worth it?
And seeing as my shrink is a freudian psychoanalyst, here are some others to consider:
how did you relate to your parents? your father? your mother?
how did your parents relate to each other?