at woodford in the chai tent just after new years, i took out my long unused universal waite tarot deck and laid out an advice spread.

i do not use the tarot as a method of prognostication. time flows in one direction and the future is a mesh of probabilities, some more likely than others. in my opinion, soothsayers and clairvoyants are either charlatans or self-delusional.

i use the tarot as a mirror on which to project my inner mindscape. the relatively complex and ambiguous images on each card can be interpreted in multiple ways. Within a spread, the interactions between cards provide a near infinite number of meanings. Using a question as the starting point, the brain being the pattern finder it is creates a story using the images in the cards and more importantly, from evoked images and emotions within itself.

i find this gives me access to semi-conscious desires, hopes and fears that are otherwise buried or hopelessly intermingled. And through access, analysis and succor. On rare occasion, emergent meanings appear and epiphanies follow.

My relationship and its rapidly changing form has been taking up a lot of my energy and time. Grief and fear are consuming events, never gentle on the mind and in true sub-cortical fashion, play havoc with the fragile structure that is rationality. I have not been coping.

On new years day, struggling with lack of sleep and objectivity, my eye was drawn to one of the cards I drew – XXI The World, the final of the major arcana.

“There is more to life than the ruins of your relationship.”

What would have been painfully obvious and infuriatingly banal advice from others resonated deeply with me. It is harder to dismiss one’s own higher self as a cliched ridden Agony Aunt hack.

And all this without the aid of psychedelics.

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