Two takes on the noun of the day.

take one.

This morning, I picked up a cryptic crossword from the Age for the first time in a year or so and surprised myself by getting more than half of the clues out. Either the Age in line with its ongoing pursuit of ever lower browed readers have been watering down its cryptic crossword difficulty levels or my crossword skills inspite of zero practice have somehow increased in that time perhaps due to my newish very nerdy habit of pulling out my pda and looking up every single word I dont know (often in company and in mid conversation).

take two.

At work in an all day long sales meeting (which sucks in every way possible considering most of the people in that room were the ever lower browed readers pursued by the Age and owned by the Herald Sun), in a desperate attempt to stave off boredom and despair I puzzled over the means of turning the traditional sale process into a board game and making a lot of money using the very same sales process to move lots and lots of units into the unsuspecting marketplace.

The game I came up which I named SELL THAT THING! resembles monopoly to a degree.

Every player is allocated a starting number of products. Rolling dice moves each player’s counter around the board. There are three types of opportunity squares: sales, investment and marketing.

Landing on sales square means that that the player gets to sell a product to a customer of choice. If the customer is owned by another player, a risk like battle of the dice ensues depending on the number of value points the competing products have. If the customer is not “owned” by another player, the value point of the product has to be over the customer’s resistance points. Every customer generates a set amount of revenue each year which the player can use at the investment and marketing squares.

For example, product value points can be increased through investment and marketing. As well, credibality points (which lower customer resistance points) can be increased in similar ways. Investments include R&D, user forums, CRM investment, sales staff development, gun sales executive recruitment, product development (very expensive). Marketing includes market research, advertising, marketing campaigns, brand development.

Even though players would be able to do cool things like poach each other gun sales executives and buy out a failing player’s products and there would be wild cards like Government Panel Contract, Sudden Commodification, Falling Value Proposition, Total Product Recall, Complete Failure to Deliver, I stopped at that point because I realised that playing SELL THAT THING! would only be marginally less painful than being in an all day sales meeting.

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